A Rose By Another Other Name . . .

. . . might not cost so much!

I put my mom in charge of flowers because, well, I don't care about the flowers. They're expensive, they die, and I don't know about any of you guys, but I pretty much never remember flowers at weddings anyway. I remember food! To be honest, Matt and I would be just fine with almost no flowers, but if you know my mother, that was definitely not an option.

You can imagine what I treat I've been to deal with. Here's an example of the conversations I've been having:

Mom: I need some help so I know where to start. What's a flower you don't like?
Me: Dead ones.
Mom: Okaaaay. What about color?
Me: I like color. Color is good.
Mom: This is progress. Any colors we should rule out?
Me: Um, I guess I don't want ugly colors.
Mom: Thanks, Bean. You've been very helpful. [rolls eyes]

So armed with this really useful information, my poor mother goes out to talk to florists. She did the initial work picking a florist, thank goodness, then had me go meet Mr. Florist.

Now this guy, Mr. Florist, is really something, and totally not what I was picturing. Like if we're expecting a flamboyant man who would clap his hands talking about blossoms and get choked up looking at bouquets, we had it all wrong. Mr. Florist is more like the guy who might work at a hardware store and give you the selling points on various power tools. This guy cuts the bullshit and gets down to business. He has a very dry sense of humor (at least I think it was humor). Another bride might not dig him, but I actually did.

These were the kinds of things we talked about:

Mr. Florist: Are there any flowers you know you like?
Me: I like sunflowers, but if they're expensive, strike that from the record.
Mr. Florist: What do you picture for your bouquet?
Me: Um, flowers?
Mr. Florist: Yes, thank you. [My mom shoots him a look like, "I warned you about her!"] OK, do you want your bouquet to be whites and ivories, or colorful like the sisters' bouquets?
Me: Colors! I like colors! [Getting nervous...] Is that normal for the bride to carry colors?
Mr. Florist: Look, it's your day. You can do whatever the hell you want. If anyone tries to tell you what to do, you just nod politely then promptly disregard their dumb ideas. Trust me, it's for the best.

I liked him! He was a little bit of a smartass, and I think he'll do a great job.