M-I-C-K-E-Y B-R-I-D-E

Su and I got back on Sunday from the Happiest Place on Earth, the Place Where Dreams Come True, Four Parks One World - Disney World!

I hadn't been there in 15 years and it was fantastic. I could go on and on about my trip, but that's not the point of this blog. I actually have some wedding-related observations to share.

First, the monorail informed me that I can get married in their wedding pavillion, so Cinderella's castle is my backdrop. I of course acted like this was uber tacky and I'd never do it, but then Su and I admitted that we secretly thought it sounded a little awesome.

On the topic of Disney weddings, we saw quite a few couples wearing bride and groom mouse ears.

I grinned and rolled my eyes (and then giggled at how Matt would react if I suggested wearing these to our wedding rehearsal). The couples wearing their coordinating mouse ears looked like happy, Disney-loving dorks, and I really don't mean that in a bad way.

Now, what I did see and I didn't like was young girls wearing those bride mouse ears! Walking around Disney World dreaming of being . . . a bride? That is so very sad.

Yes, Disney is about dreaming, but you dream about fantastical things like flying with Peter Pan or being a princess in a sweet castle or being a pirate searching for treasure or having a fairy godmother hook you up with glass slippers. These are fun, harmless things to dream about because we all know, even when we're really little, that it ain't gonna happen. (I mean, I REALLY wanted to be a mermaid when I grew up [thank you, Daryl Hannah], but I think I knew deep down I was doomed to be a landlubber. )

Being a bride is not in the same category as having a magic wand. Sorry, it's just not.

I fear that those little girls in their bride ears are going to be the types of unrealistic weirdos that really think they can find love on The Bachelor. Hey, I bet these are the people who buy those Just Married flip-flops!

Tied Up in The Knot

I was looking at a message board on The Knot the other day (don't make fun), and can I just say again what aliens these women seem like to me? Not only do they speak in codes, but their whole identity is GETTING MARRIED. Guess what? Getting married takes like an hour. Can you imagine your identity being something that takes an hour? OK, actually, let's say these people are obsessed with something that take a whole day - ceremony + reception. What other things could their identities be?

Painting a bathroom

Completing a big jigsaw puzzle

Shopping for a mattress

Hosting a garage sale

Driving to Pittsburgh

I mean, really people, get a grip. Yes, the wedding day is way more fun and memorable than hosting a garage sale, but both take up the same same percentage of time in the grand scheme of your life. (I'm just talking the wedding day, not all the planning too!)

What also makes these people on The Knot weird are these signature things they have. They have these cheesy counters, like "479 Days Until We Promise Forever." I kid you not! My two favorites are below.

The first of a slider showing the timeline until her wedding and a slider of the woman's weight loss success (or I guess failure). Do we need to broadcast how stereotypical we are to lose weight for our weddings (yes, I'm included in this, but I don't have a widget to prove it).



The other is a timeline counting down the woman's first anniversary! In other words, this woman's ALREADY MARRIED and still hanging around on The Knot! The wedding's over, sister. Get off the computer and go pay attention to your husband (he's the one who wore the tux and stood next to you for the vows).