Dressing My Barbie

Today, my mom and I went dress shopping for her. We were hoping to find someplace really snobby in Greenwich, but surprisingly there aren't many dress shops in Greenwich (and of course the one I found said he had no appointments).

Earlier this week, I went to a shop where the guy was really pushy and telling me that he didn't make much money! Talk about not selling yourself! So my expectations were a little low for today. I have to admit . . . we had a lovely time shopping! None of the salespeople were pushy or obnoxious.

On one hand, shopping for my mom's Mother of the Bride [I fought the urge to write MOB!] dress wasn't going to be easy because my mom's dress for my sister's wedding was just gorgeous, so the bar was set high. My nana said that my mom looked like a queen, and I would agree. On the other hand, the part about shopping for my mom that is easy is that it's like dressing up a Barbie Doll because she's so tiny. Of her top three contenders, I picked out two of them! Go me.

By the way, both of the shops we went to asked me what designer my wedding dress was. It was funny to watch their faces when I announced David's Bridal!

When I came home from shopping with my mom, I watched "Say Yes to the Dress." Forgive my hypocrisy. I'm starting to accept it.

A Short History of Pretty Dresses

I think it is hard for women to find dresses that we really LOVE. There are always some issues -- whether it's not totally loving the color, or being afraid that our knees look fat, or whatever.

A week ago, here was my list of dresses I LOVED over my 28 years:

• My Christmas dress when I was in kindergarten.
  It was red with little white bows printed on it. The skirt was poufy, so it was fun to spin around in. The best part was the little bell on the petticoat! I bounced all over in that dress.
• My fifth grade graduation dress.
  Finding a dress for a 10-year-old that isn't babyish but also isn't cocktail attire is quite difficult. However, I had the coolest dress -- it was just barely off the shoulder with bright flowers. I just thought I was the prettiest girl ever, which is no small feat for a girl entering her awkward stage.
• The dress I wore to my grandparents' 50th anniversary party.
  I was about 12 or 13, so again, this is a very awkward dressing age. Actually, it's an awkward everything age. My dress was long and flowered with puffed sleeves (inspiration was Anne of Green Gables, see the redhead below). I felt very grown up.
• My high schoool graduation dress.
  At my high school we had to wear long white dresses (yes, I'm serious), which is no easy task. I think my dress was a bridesmaid dress that I got in white. I was probably one of the only girls who didn't despise her dress. I really felt gorgeous in it!

I just didn't think a wedding gown would make this very short, prestigious list, which is why I wanted to wear my graduation dress for my wedding.

However, I'm happy to announce . . . my wedding dress has moved to the top position! Yes, I sure have drunk the Wedding Kool-Aid in this regard!

I Feel Pretty, Oh So Pretty

Big news!

I went shopping yesterday with my mom, sister, and friend, and we found THE dress! I won't do a costume change for the reception because I think I'm going to want every last minute wearing this beautiful dress. Clearly, I have lapped up some Wedding Kool-Aid this weekend!

I was a little freaked out about the shopping . . . putting aside trying to wrap my mind around blowing hundreds of dollars on a dress I'll only wear once, there were other things to worry about. For one thing, for me, I rarely get too worked up about wedding dresses. Sure, they're pretty, but whatever. I get more excited about a pretty wool coat. What makes wedding dress shopping different from buying a coat is that there are others to please than just me. What if I I liked a dress, but my mom didn't like it? What if my mom liked Dress A and my sister liked Dress B, but I secretly liked Dress C? And, most importantly, I wanted a dress that not just I would like, but I wanted Matt to love it too!

When we got to the store, the salesperson seemed to think I would need help dressing. Luckily I've been dressing myself for about 26 years, so I could tell her no thanks, I know how to put on a dress myself!

I had to take some deep breaths and started to sweat a little. Holy crap, I was trying on wedding dresses!!

Of the first four dresses, we actually liked three of them. I tried on probably 10 or 15 dresses, and ultimately game back to the first few. (At a point, a different salesperson came into my dressing room, expecting to dress me, and asked her to hit the road too.) I had a few moments of shock/pain/incredulousness when looked at pricetags, but everyone kept telling me to just stopping looking at the pricetags!

Ultimately, I came to the conclusion that the dress that my three spectators liked was the best.

This is a pretty much snark-free entry. Wedding dress shopping wasn't as scary as I expected. It was actually . . . fun. I cannot wait to wear my dress!

Do You Have This Dress in "Snow Princess Dancing on a Cloud Sprinkled with Baby Powder" White?

OK, you guys. I need to chill out and start having more fun with my wedding planning. As Blanche Deveraux once said, "I'm wound up tighter than a girdle on a Baptist minister's wife at an all-you-can-eat pancake breakfast." (I'm not that bad -- I just wanted an excuse to use that quote.)

I've heard of many brides who go out and try out dresses before Mr. Right even gets to finish his proposal. So, I figure that must be the shortest path to feeling like a bride -- dress shopping! I'm going to try on lots of dresses to get myself into bridal mode! If picking a reception place, meeting with a priest, and booking a photographer hasn't fully done the trick, surely a pretty party dress will! I'll be like Maria in West Side Story -- spinning around in front of mirrors singing, "I feel pretty! oh so pretty!"

(Now you may be wondering -- what about me wearing that dress that I already have that I love? Well, I tried it on about a month ago and discovered that while I do weigh right around the same as I did in high school, apparently some of me isn't exactly the same. I'll cut to the chase -- my boobs currently aren't quite fitting. Dammit!)

So, while I'm working up my peppiness for dress shopping, I do have to be a bit snarky for a second. I called today to make an appointment to try on wedding dresses. I tell her which dresses I know I want to try on. She asks me if I want to try on the dresses in white, and I'm like, I'm not Blanche Deveraux (she wore a red wedding dress because "not even she could keep a straight face if she wore white"). Well, this nice sales lady isn't really sure what to do with me, so she asks if, for example, I want white or ivory? This is a totally serious question, and I had yet another moment where I feel like I'm the weirdo, because I haven't dreamed of my "white"/"ivory"/"vanilla ice cream"/"snow princess dancing on a cloud sprinkled with baby powder" colored dress my whole life. So I tell her, since I don't know the difference between white and ivory, I have no idea what I like.

I should be a real gem for a salesperson to work with this weekend, don't you think?

Maybe I'll some inspiration from these dresses . . .

How Do I Love Matt... Let Me Count the Ways

This isn't directly related to the Wedding Kool-Aid, but it's worth a post...

I recently reconnected with an old friend. She asked me if Matt had a large shoe collection, because apparently when I was in high school I said that this would be a requirement of my future mate. Anyway, she asked what I loved about Matt and I answered. She suggested that I post it on my blog for posterity's sake, and I think she had a good point. So, here goes -- hope this sweetness doesn't make anyone gag!

"So funny, i didn't remember saying about wanting a man w/ big shoe collection, but that sounds like me. :) Oddly enough, yes, he does have a lot of shoes! Mostly sneakers of course. He is meticulous about his appearance w/o being unmanly about it. Actually, that's segue into your question about things I love about matt... i really appreciate about him -- he always looks put together in his own way. After going to CMU, I got quite sick and tired of men always looking like shit. Think of the great line in Clueless - 'I don't get how guys dress these days...'
He is a very morally upright person -- he's polite, he loves and respects his parents, and I trust him completely. I never worry if he's looking at other girls or anything. He is also smart (and a good writer -- a big plus since our relationship got started w/ a lot IM-ing). Superficialy speaking, I think he's adorable, and he's the perfect height. He's just shy of 6' so that means I can wear whatever shoes i want and he's still comfortably taller. :) Aww it's fun to gush about him."

It's done! We're done! You're done! I'm DONE!

I have learned over the four months since my engagement that there are TV shows all about weddings. I'd never seen any of these shows. In fact, I didn't even know that most of them existed (Say Yes to the Dress? My Fair Wedding? who knew?). Did you know that there's a whole TV show dedicated to... wait for it... wedding cake. I'm serious. To quote Steve Martin in Father of the Bride, "a cake is made of flour and water," but this is the stuff of a 30-minute show.

And yet again, I have this mocking tone when I talk about this stuff, as if I'm so far above it. Surely I would never get SO wrapped up in my wedding that I would have to watch TV shows about it (nevermind the magazines and websites and the many invitations to talk about it). But alas, since I got engaged, for some weird reason, I have started watching the trashiest of them all . . .

BRIDEZILLAS!

This show is just revolting. They found the brattiest, most horrible engaged women in the United States [what moron proposed to them?!] and put a camera in front of these women. These women are rude, ungrateful, and tacky. They completely disregard their budgets and cry a lot. They love to stick their bitchy hands in people's faces and announce, "I'm DONE!"

But . . .

I'm hooked. This trainwreck is just too awful to stop watching.

P.S. My wedding is one year from tomorrow!!

Yup, I'm Drinking Some Sugar-Free Kool-Aid

Not too much going on with the wedding planning the past few weeks, but I do have something I must share.

Since I got engaged and therefore started Googling bridal things and perusing The Knot, I have seen things change in my online ads. Thanks to Google and the cookies these sites are apparently dropping on my computer, I'm being told to:

a) buy lots and lots of wedding stuff! and
b) lose weight... fast!

(And, by the way, I don't seem to be seeing ads for online dating services anymore.)

Interesting, but not certainly not illogical.

As you all know by now, I expect to stick to my guns about not buying weird wedding crap or rationalizing blowing my budget because "I deserve it!" or "We're only doing this once!"
However, I must admit something. I'm owning up to giving in to something stereotypically bridal. I'm going to buy a scale (I threw mine out 9 years ago) and start losing some weight! (Sort of funny that I'm going to sign up for Weight Watchers in part because a COOKIE was dropped on my computer telling me that I should lose weight.)

There's something else I have to admit. Yesterday, I went for a quick run on the treadmill, and I didn't grab Us Weekly or Shape to cover up the time. I grabbed Town & Country Weddings. Yes, yes, I did. I flipped through pages of $10,000 gowns and blingy-bling rings and sterling silver ring boxes (hey grooms, if you really love her, get her one on Madison Avenue for just $250!) and descriptions of honeymoons that sounded too extravagent for Brangelina. Instead of Town & Country Weddings, that magazine should be called Wealthy & Budgetless Weddings.

Anyway, I guess if I'm going to drink some Wedding Kool-Aid (that would now be sugar-free!), eating better and exercising more isn't anything to be ashamed of (even if it is majorly cliche!!).

Three Women Wearing the Same Dress

You know what's hard about picking a bridesmaid dress?

Everything.

I keep looking and looking for dresses for our sisters to wear, and I don't seem to like anything. I can't figure out if I don't like anything because I'm picky or because I don't really care that much. I want them to look nice of course, but there are a billion bridesmaid dresses out there for all different prices and colors and cuts and so on . . .

The whole bridesmaid dress concept is kind of weird. I mean, women are always trying to not duplicate clothes, right? We all remember how Brenda and Kelly almost got into a catfight when they wore the same dress for the spring dance! So why are brides supposed to dress the select women that they love in the SAME DRESS.

Stay tuned -- eventually I'll find an affordable and cute dress for our sisters. (I promise!)

I am selling Facebook wedding applications!

My friend Su works on Wall Street, so she likes to describe liking or disliking things in terms of the market: she's a "buyer" of the original 90210 (so she likes it), and she's a "seller" of camping (so she doesn't like it).

Today I'd like to use her term and say that I'm a seller of wedding applications in Facebook.

Protect my wedding portfolio and make sure I never become a buyer of wedding applications! Reneging on this one would be like me deciding I need a Vera Wang wedding gown -- a downright breach of my character. (Next thing you know I'll want those "Just Married" flip-flops.)

What do those applications do besides remind at least 200 of your Facebook friends that they are not invited to your wedding? It gives Facebook the green light to hand over your profile info to wedding vendors (see "people who want to rip me off") so they can further inundate you with ads!

If I add a wedding application to my profile, I'm not just drunk on wedding Kool-Aid, I am full blown addicted and need rehab pronto.

"My fiance and I got the STD..."

This isn't related to planning but I've learned some new meanings to old acronyms, thanks to TheKnot and other such weddings sites.

To me, a GM was a good ole American car. In wedding world, it's a Groomsman.

I thought a BM was something that happens after some fiber. In wedding world, it's a Bridesmaid.

I thought a MOB was an unruly crowd. In wedding world, it's the Mother Of the Bride.

Thanks to Seventeen magazine and New Jersey's health class requirements, I thought I was quite clear on the meaning of STD. In wedding world, it's a Save The Date card.

"Is THAT a wedding dress?"

On Saturday, Matt came with me to Stamford Bridal Suite so I could show him three dresses I liked for my reception dress. (I'm hoping/planning to do the Hollywood thing and change dresses!) My ceremony dress is pretty straight and a little serious, so I want my reception dress to be the opposite -- fun and a bit poofy! (Think the kind of dress that a little girl wears and spins around in it.)

First of all, Matt and I were bucking tradition just by Matt being IN the bridal shop. (Matt is fine with knowing what I'm wearing for the reception, but we both want the ceremony dress to be a surprise.) I came out in dress #1 and kind of bounced around grinning and showing off for him. Meanwhile, another bride-to-be and small army of bridesmaids-to-be were there, trying on dresses. Apparently, the bride-to-be mouthed to her army, "Is THAT a wedding dress?"

Matt, being the prince that he is, swooped in and explained, that yes, yes it was. It would be my reception dress and I had a different one for the ceremony. Suddenly the army changed their tunes, and were all, "oh! what a great idea! I never would've thought of that!"

Ha ha!

But, if I may point out, by the very definition, I'll be a bride, so whatever I'm wearing is indeed bridal. So if I want to get hitched in my favorite sweatshirt, then yes, THAT is a wedding sweatshirt! (Don't worry, Mom, I'm not really going to wear a sweatshirt.)

First Things First -- The Story of the Proposal

You can't have a wedding without a proposal (though supposedly my dad never actually proposed to my mom, but that's a different story), so here's the e-mail I wrote to Stacey, Melanie, and Margo the morning after Matt popped the question:

June 21, 2008
Hello my dear friends in Europe --
Well, since I can't call you guys, i have to tell you over e-mail.

Matt and I broke up.

JUST KIDDING! We're getting married!!!!! Ahh!

He proposed to me last night in NYC and I said yes (obviously). Oh my gosh I can't believe I'm even writing this! :-D

I know you want the story, so I'll write it out for ya.

I suggested last week to make Friday night a date night because as usual, I have a ton of plans the next few weeks, so I wanted some quality time with matt. So on wednesday, he starts making suggestions, like cooking me dinner, maybe taking a picnic to my favorite park, etc. Then Thursday night, I'd nodded off on the couch and he wakes me up and tells me we're taking a 6:30 train on Friday, and everything else is a surprise.

As we're getting ready to go, matt insisted on bringing a backpack to put jackets in. Hmm... a backpack... what else could be in there?! I admit to having moments of suspicion during the course of all this. :)

So we go into NYC and have a drink at Cipriani in Grand Central. Then we walked to a restaurant on the upper east side called Candle 79. Turns out it's supposed to be one of the best vegetarian restaurants in the city. Even better though -- it was all organic AND vegan! I was in heaven. Matt said it was because whenever we go out to dinner, i have to scrounge the menu to find something to eat, so he wanted to take me somewhere that i had a whole menu of choices for me. At the end of the meal, he said the night wasn't over yet -- he had bought 2 tickets for the last elevator up to Top of the Rock in Rockefellar Center. we went there for my b'day a year and a half ago, and matt said he wanted to take me at night -- he said "i know you love sparkly things, and the nyc skyline is the biggest sparkly thing i could think of." Now... i admit... i start to wonder again.

We go up to Top of the Rock and the views were of course gorgeous. Lightning came, which was very cool to watch, and people started to clear out. matt seemed a little antsy about picking a spot to sit. Then his eyes were getting shifty, checking to see if people were around. He kept wanting to go outside, but the rain was starting. Finally he said to come outside... he had one more surprise. Yup, you guessed it -- he got down on one knee outside -- a little rain, a perfect view of the empire state building -- and pulled out the little box. I have attached a picture of us about 3 minutes after i said yes. :-D

I had said that i just wanted a proposal story that would be fun to tell people now, but cool to tell our kids. This is the perfect story!

lots of love,
Kathleen

Going to the Chapel

As I have learned from watching The Bachelor, apparently a lot of women grow up dreaming of their wedding day. Now maybe I'm weird, but I not only never thought about my wedding day, I didn't even picture myself married.

But as Matt and I got more serious, I really could picture myself married -- to him. Matt and I are getting married on October 24, 2009! Woohoo! I am so excited!!

So anyway, I thought I'd keep track of what happens with this whole wedding thing over the next year. I'm not really into all this wedding craziness at the moment, but I wonder how and if I will change my opinions. I hear it's really easy to get wrapped up in the momentum of the planning, and I should probably assume I'm just as vulnerable as the next bride-to-be. Here are some of my current thoughts on weddings:

• All that we REALLY need to have a wedding is me, Matt, and someone who can legally marry us. Everything else is can be considered added bonuses. (I can't imagine this opinion ever changing!)
• Wedding dresses are a rip off. All brides look pretty because they're HAPPY. And even if they don't look all that great, everyone will them they're beautiful because, you know, she's the bride!
• Flowers smell nice and are pretty. I hear they're very pricey.
• Cocktail hour is the best part of the reception. Do it up!
• Getting married in a church is intimidating me.
• Photography and food are splurge worthy. Flowers, chair covers, and invitations are not. "Just Married" flip-flops are just plain strange.
• Vendors are ready to rip off anyone who uses words like "bridal" or "wedding."

So let's see... will I drink (and maybe get intoxicated from) the Wedding Kool Aid? or will I resist its charm?

Disclaimer: This blog reflects my own opinions and I'm certainly not dissing anyone else's choices. I don't judge anyone who does get really into the wedding stuff. To each her own!